Disclaimer: I only own the plot
Summary: Heechul finds himself deeply in love with his fellow super junior member Hangeng. Could this love be a blessing or is it a curse threatening to change everything he knows.
Well that was how Heechul felt about Hangeng. It was as if their souls belonged together. The first time their eyes met his heart fluttered. Whenever they touched chills were sent down his spine. When you love someone you give them your whole but what if they didn’t love you back?
What if your love for them was unacceptable? What if the love you had for them was the reason you couldn’t be together? What if you were faced with the choice between unrequited love or losing them completely? When those are you options how do you chose? It’s either get hurt or hurt them?
Heechul sighed. He couldn’t concentrate. With a loud huff he threw the play he was reading on his bed. Could he be selfish enough to choose himself over Hangeng? His eyes glanced over to where the beautiful Chinese man was sleeping peacefully. How was it that this beautiful man had broken down all of his defences? How could one single man stir so many emotions within him? The almighty Heechul would normally have already confronted the person who was bothering him. Why couldn’t he do it to Hangeng?
Why couldn’t he say those three simple words? I Love You. Heechul glared at Hangengs sleeping back. It’s all your fault he wanted to scream. A snore came from the sleeping figure as if responding to him. Immediately Heechuls eyes softened. He could never stay angry at Hangeng. What was he going to do though? It was getting hard to concentrate at work. The makeup Noonas kept telling him he needed to get more sleep to get rid of those bags under his eyes. But how could he sleep knowing that one day Hangeng will either not be beside him or hate him. Could he really sacrifice both their happiness just to let Hangeng know how he feels?
What about the rest of super junior. Would it cause an up roar if they got together? A smirk spread across his face. The Hanchul fans would have a frenzy. His smirked faded immediately. What about the other members? Could they come to hate them? He didn’t care about himself but Hangeng. Hangeng had already gone through trouble because he was a Chinese member. Another smirk spread across his face remembering what he did to those stupid boys who insulted Hangeng while he was around. He had to remind himself that Hangeng was sleep so he didn’t laugh out loud.
Heechul froze. There was no way their manager would split them up if he knew, right? Heechul massaged his head with two of his fingers all this thinking was giving him a headache. Alright he decided I’ll tell him tomorrow.
The next day the perfect opportunity to tell Hangeng came up. Gentle arms were placed on Heechuls shoulders.
“Time to wake up”
Heechul groaned swatting whoever it was trying to wake him up. They kept shaking him and it was really starting to annoy him. He had after all had only gotten to sleep three hours ago. He groaned again, a warning saying if you don’t stop you will regret it. They still continued to shake him either not paying attention to his threat or not smart enough to finger out that the groan was a threat. He grabbed their hand and turned sharply towards the wall. Just as he planned they fell onto his bed. He quickly turned back around wrapping them in the sheets so they were like a caterpillar in a cocoon. That would get them to shut up he thought.
Even though he was cold at the loss of his sheets, which were how holding whoever tried to wake him up hostage, he closed his eyes prepared to fall asleep.
Heechuls recently closed eyes flew open. That voice. Oh please tell me it’s not him. Their breath tickled the back of his neck. There was no way… Shit. There was no mistake. It was Hangeng who was now on HIS bed, trapped by HIS sheets. He felt movement beside him as Hangeng struggled from his ‘prison’. It was the perfect opportunity but was he ready? Slowly so slowly he turned around. Hangengs normally beautifully groomed hair was a mess from all the tossing he was doing.
Heechul gulped inwardly. It made him look so sexy. His heart was beating erratically. Hangeng stopped struggling. Their eyes met. Why was Heechul looking at him like that Hangeng wondered? Just lean forward and kiss him! Heechuls mind screamed at him. A pout fell across Hangengs lip and Heechul almost shivered. Alright I’ll do it! Slowly so slowly Heechul leaned towards him.
The bedroom door burst open.
“Hangeng how… HEECHUL how many times have I told you not to wrap the members who come to wake you up”
Leeteuk stood hands on his hips. Heechul swore that Leeteuk sometimes acted so much like an Umma it was scary. Heechul looked at Super Juniors leader. A blush at what he had almost done was interpreted as anger from being woken up.
“Well if he had stopped when I had warned him he wouldn’t be a caterpillar”
“Enough! Untangle Hangeng and both of you come to breakfast. Now!”
Leeteuk walked out of the room mumbling to himself. Heechul crossed his arms over his chest. Today was going to be a bad day. He had barely woken up and already he was annoyed, not to mention he had a throbbing headache as well. He started grumbling to himself not happy at being woken up. Grumpy because of the small amount of sleep he had. Heechul almost jumped when Hangeng wiggled close to him. In his grumbling he had kind of forgotten that he had him trapped in his bed.
Hangeng looked up at him with those beautiful deep brown eyes. Did Hangeng even suspect how he felt about him? Heechul glared at him and Hangeng responded by widening his smile. Don’t look at me, Heechul wanted to scream at him, because when you do I fall even more in love with you. Heechul leaned close to Hangeng. It was as if he was being drawn into him. Those lips, those soft pink lips what would it feel like to press his against them?
He was so close. Just a bit more and they would touch. His eyes flickered up to meet Hangengs. Hangeng was staring at him. Heechul reached over and pulled the covers off Hangeng as if that was what he had been planning to do the whole time. That look, the one Hangeng had given him confirmed all his fears.
“You’re a beautiful butterfly now fly away”
Hangeng quickly jumped out of the bed before Heechul could change his mind. He was sure Heechul would come to breakfast so he started walking to the kitchen. When their shared bedroom door closed he stopped. What was that look Heechul gave him? For a second he actually believed Heechul was going to kiss him. Just the thought made his stomach turn. No he concluded, it must have been something else.
Heechul ran his hands through his long black hair. It was just as he thought. There was no way they could be together. He sighed heavily to himself. The way Hangeng had looked at him sent shivers down his spine but they weren’t good shivers. They were I-really-am-going-to-lose-this-guy-if-I-c
With every passing day it just got harder. It hurt so much to know that they could never be together. Out in public photo shoots, fan meets and out on all their scheduled things he acted normal. Even inside the dorm he acted normal. There were times when it got too much so he would go to their shared room and just play with Heebum his beautiful cat.
A month later a sleep deprived, extremely frustrated Heechul walked into Hangeng and his shared room to find him packing. He wasn’t leaving because of him was he? There was no way Hangeng could have found out that he liked him. Heechul scolded himself he was starting to sound like a girl. Hangeng turned to him. ‘You disgust me’ that what Heechul was waiting for. He was waiting for that disgusted expression to cross over Hangengs face before he left him forever.
He had seen Hangengs mouth move but he didn’t hear the words. Hangeng smiled at him sending his heart racing.
“We’re leaving for China tomorrow.”
Oh that’s right SJ-M was going to be performing to promote their latest song. Relief washed over him. He had just over reacted.
Their eyes met. Hangengs sparkling like the starts in the night sky. Heechul felt his breath catch in his throat. Note to self beat Sungmin for watching all those stupid dramas. His heart stopped when Hangeng put a fist on his waist. What…what was happening? With slight pressure he was pulled closer to him. That expression what was it? What did the softness in Hangengs eyes mean? Hangengs head was down looking at the ground while he was holding him. What was happening? Heechuls heart beat so fast it felt like it would explode out of his chest.